Being thin created intense anxiety that I wouldn't be able to maintain that weight for life, and I couldn't.

Oftentimes, especially during my recovery, I didn't need to think about everything I was doing wrong; instead, I needed to focus more on what I was doing right-and then do more of the right stuff. I needed to live more in the solution.

Intense pain often pushed me to make changes. The pain of the eating disorder pushed me into recovering from eating-disordered behaviors, and then the emotional turmoil I experienced without those behaviors (not knowing how to cope with perfectionism, feelings, and life in general) took me even further, so that I ultimately found serenity.

I would not encourage you to go through the sweat, blood, and tears of the recovery process only to reach some kind of mediocre state where you were just 'managing' the illness. It is possible to live without Ed.

Recovery is about making room for the real me to exist.

Replace perfectionism with persistence. After all, in recovery and life, it's persistence that really pays off. Forget about perfection.

Sometimes I felt lonely because I pushed people away for so long that I honestly didn't have many close connections left. I was physically isolated and disconnected from the world. Sometimes I felt lonely in a crowded room. This kind of loneliness pierced my soul and ached to the core. I not only felt disconnected from the world, but I also felt like no one ever loved me. Intellectually, I knew that people did, but I still felt that way.