Intense pain often pushed me to make changes. The pain of the eating disorder pushed me into recovering from eating-disordered behaviors, and then the emotional turmoil I experienced without those behaviors (not knowing how to cope with perfectionism, feelings, and life in general) took me even further, so that I ultimately found serenity.

Being thin created intense anxiety that I wouldn't be able to maintain that weight for life, and I couldn't.

Ironically, this physically weak feeling signifies that I'm actually getting stronger. I know from my past that I will ultimately feel strong if I just sit with the feeling and experience it.

In the past, I was a perpetual victim; how I was doing in any given moment depended on what happened to me. Today I do my best to avoid this kind of 'victim thinking.' Instead, how I am doing is determined by how I respond to what happens to me.

Connect with supportive people who empower you. The more you jump into your life, the further away from Ed you can get. Don't have a backup plan for living. Live today. [...] Trust in God. Believe in yourself. Get friends and family members to stand behind you. That's the only backup you'll need.

To stay in recovery, you must be responsible for finding your own motivation. Remember, motivation may not be easy to come by at first. It will probably be a very small, timid part inside of you. When you find it, let that part be in charge. Let the minority rule and lead you to a life you never dreamed was possible

I would not encourage you to go through the sweat, blood, and tears of the recovery process only to reach some kind of mediocre state where you were just 'managing' the illness. It is possible to live without Ed.