People don't see this side of me. They don't know I read, like, 800 million spiritual books. Lately I am just really getting into a lot of spirituality.

I figured out something spiritual. Billboard this: 'Life is supposed to be fun!'

Sometimes I think marriage licenses should be like driver's licenses. They expire after a number of years, and in order to keep going you have to renew. Wouldn't that be kind of genius? It would force you both to look at the relationship, and if it's not working, the marriage would expire so you could go on your merry way, or on the positive side of it, you could look at each other and say we really want to renew. What a way to keep it fresh!!

My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.

Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.

I usually have my protein at lunch and my carbs at night - I don't mix protein and carbs.

People don't see this side of me. They don't know I read, like, 800 million spiritual books. Lately I am just really getting into a lot of spirituality.