When I'm watching sports I can't be bothered.

In Canada you can still settle things with your fists. If there's a fight in a bar, no one goes to jail.

I have a dog that loves to fight. It's a border collie, and they fight low to the ground. Other dogs are terrified of my dog, because he gets low and goes for the balls.

When I'm watching sports I can't be bothered.

Hockey is our big sport, and if you fight in hockey you get five minutes for it, that's it. So in Canada, everyone is fighting.

None of my teams win anything. They are an extension of my personality.

I am not an attractive man. These clothes are the only thing holding me together; when I'm nude, my body shoots off in all directions. I'm like a starfish.