If you are foolish enough to be contented, don't show it, but grumble with the rest; and if you can do with a little, ask for a great deal. Because if you don't you won't get any.

Cheese, like oil, makes too much of itself.

It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.

But who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand.

Ambition is only vanity ennobled.

A cat's got her own opinion of human beings. She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it.

Conceit is the finest armour a man can wear.