When I hit around 65, 66, I started to feel tremendous worth and incredible personal esteem. I was becoming very cognisant of my contribution to the American spirit of helping your fellow man and all of the good stuff.

Don't you understand how dramatic it is to be a comic? To be a fool, to get people to laugh at this show-off? Milton Berle could take Laurence Olivier and stick him under the table if he wanted to. And so could I.

People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.

I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already.

I have nothing against women. As a matter of fact there's something about them that I love, but I just can't put my finger on it.

I get paid for what most kids get punished for.

If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well.