The Constitution guarantees us our rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. That's all. It doesn't guarantee our rights to charity.

Sarah Palin's a quitter.

After Barack Obama won the 2008 presidential election, I was heartened to see him issue an Open Government Initiative on his first full day in office.

I have metal in my body, so every time I go to an airport ,the metal detector goes off.

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud.

If waterboarding's OK, why don't we let our police do it to suspects so we can learn what they know? We only seem to waterboard Muslims... Have we waterboarded anyone else?

You can't legislate against stupidity, but we try to do it all the time.