Are you familiar with 9/11? Building 7? You know what was in there? All the Enron stuff. I guess that building went down on its own.

For every day the government is shut down, it should be that we don't have to pay income tax that day because they're not working.

You can have solid third party politics, but the problem is you're all lumped in to all the fringe groups. That's a stereotype that happens.

I love fat people. Every fat person says it's not their fault, that they have gland trouble. You know which gland? The saliva gland.

I believe that the Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin are two of the greatest rock bands ever!

If the price of the drug people want to use is through the roof, well then they're going to have to commit crimes to get the money to get the drug. You don't see any crimes committed over a pack of cigarettes or a bottle of beer, do you?

The prohibition of drugs causes crime. You don't have to legalize, just decriminalize it.