The desirable virgin is sexy but not sexual. She's young, white, and skinny. She's a cheerleader, a babysitter; she's accessible and eager to please (remember those ethics of passivity!). She's never a woman of color. SHe's never a low-income girl or a fat girl. She's never disabled. "Virgin" is a designation for those who meet a certain standard of what women, especially young women, are supposed to look like. As for how these young women are supposed to act? A blank slate is best.
Jessica ValentiMen in their hearts hate women. It doesnโt matter how much we love them. They hate usโ
Jessica ValentiPeople seem to think, because of the way that the media has appropriated third-wave feminism or young feminism, that all young feminists are about is like pole dancing and girls gone wild and how empowering it is. Like they'll start calling anything feminist.
Jessica ValentiI always go with the dictionary definition of feminism, which is just social, political and economic equality for women.
Jessica ValentiI think we get into very dangerous territory when we start to define who can and cannot be a feminist. It's such a slippery slope, and I have no interest in being the feminist police!
Jessica ValentiBe as pissed off as you want to be. Donโt hold back because you think itโs unladylike or some such nonsense. We shouldnโt be shamed out of our anger. We should be using it. Using it to make change in our own lives, and using it to make change in the lives around us. (I know, Iโm cheesy.) So the next time someone calls you emotional, or asks if youโre PMSing, call them on their bullshit.
Jessica Valenti