I want you to know, chickens aren’t sexy. Not to me.” This was met with silence. “Are you there?” She was slurring her words now, which was embarrassing, so she took a deep breath. “Cam? Can you hear me?” “Yes, chickens aren’t sexy. Uh…I don’t think they’re meant to be.

There are four basic food groups: plain chocolate, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and white chocolate.

When you don't know what you're doing, fake it.

The calories in chocolate don't count because chocolate comes from the cocoa bean, and everyone knows that beans are good for you.

I’d want to have sex with myself. All the time.

And I specialize in fixing things up and restoring them to their former glory.” She wondered if that talent extended to humans, maybe even humans who never really had a former glory.

Go away. I hate everyone right now, and I'm pretty sure that includes you.