If you can't stop the bad thoughts from coming to visit, at least you can make fun of them while they're hanging around.

Because even if they are doing something immoral, I'd be an idiot to start criticizing them for it if I wasn't perfect myself. Smoking is self-destructive. Drinking is self-destructive. Losing your temper and yelling at people is wrong. Lying is wrong. Cheating is wrong. Stealing is wrong. But people do that stuff all the time. Soon as I figure out how to be a perfect human being, then I'm qualified to go lecture other people about how they live their lives.

All right, you primitive screwheads. Listen up. I'm Harry Dresden. I'm the new Winter Knight.

I still can't believe," Michael said, sotto voce, "that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire.

You killed my dog! Get your affairs in order.

You don’t have to run faster than the bear to get away. You just have to run faster than the guy next to you.

There is no spoon. I am completely spoonless over here.