Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.

My friend is going to save a little girl from monsters. I am going with him. That's what friends do.

Of course Evil's afoot. If it had switched to the metric system it'd be up to a meter by now.

Doroga thumped a finger against his skull. Head got nothing to do with the heart. Your heart wants what it wants. Head got to learn that it can only kill the heart or else get out of the way

Yeah, but I forgot to take my George Orwell-shaped multivitamins along with my breakfast bowl of Big Brother Os this morning.

Are you always a smartass?' Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.

There’s nothing that makes you more insane than family. Or more happy. Or more exasperated. Or more . . . secure.