Every soul is special. They’re all beautiful. They’re all far more significant than anyone on this rock realizes. I think when people are at their best, they’re acting in accordance with their soul. The ones who have gone bad don’t have bad souls. They’ve just given up on keeping in touch with them.

I lunged, low and quick, and drove about a foot of cold steel into his danglies. Hey, I don't care what kind of fearie or mortal or hideous creature you are. If you've got danglies, and can loose them, that's the kind of sight that makes you reconsider the possible genitalia-related ramifications of your actions real damned quick.

Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity.

I've been a young man. Boobs are near the center of the universe, until you turn twenty-five or so. Which is also when young men's auto insurance rates go down. This is not a coincidence.

Smiling always seems to annoy people more than actually insulting them. Or maybe I just have an annoying smile.

I think that men ought to treat women like something other than weaker men with breasts.

I will make Maggie safe. If the world burns because of that then so be it. Me and the kid will roast some marshmallows.