People always equate beauty with good, but it just ain't so.

I just stood there staring, because while I've seen a lot of weird things, I hadn't ever seen that.

Being here? With you? I've met my subconscious, and he's not that sick.

I checked my gear, my pockets, my shoelaces, and realized that I had crossed the line between making sure I was ready and trying to postpone the inevitable.

Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity.

Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.

People love dogs. You can never go wrong adding a dog to the story.