Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

I haven't been as wild with my money as somebody like me might have been. I've been very safe, very conservative with investments. I don't blow money. I don't have a ton of houses. I know things can go away. I've already had that experience.

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.

One man's toxic waste is another man's potpourri.

The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.

I'm a hard guy to live with. I'm like a caged animal. I'm up all night walking around the living room. It's hard for me to come down from what I do.

Comedy started out as my hobby and then it became my profession. It's like being on call all the time, like having a built-in beeper. You can't just leave the office and relax because you never know when you'll think of something funny.