My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn't believe that that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. When I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job, and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.

The worst thing in the world when you feel broken is to have somebody coming at you with open-faced love.

I have no limits! I cannot be contained because I'm the container.

The dating process is not normal for me.

Come back here so that I may brain thee!

My psychiatrist says I have a messiah complex. But I forgave him.