but can everyone simply choose the path he loves? someone has to take the ordinary jobs. all i know is, that worked for me. and it didn't work for other people i know to get a so-called safe job, because there's no such thing anymore. the only thing that stays constant is the idea that people have to escape.

I've tried everything. I've done therapy, I've done colonics. I went to a psychic who had me running around town buying pieces of ribbon to fill the colors in my aura. Did the Prozac thing.

Magicians are definitely more arrogant. They're kind of like "Abra Kadabra, you're an idiot," they don't let you in on the joke. Comedians, you're always in on the joke unless it's Andy Kaufman.

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine.

I have been the guy who has everything but yet is so one-track minded about what I want, that I can't see my blessings.

Morgan Freeman is so class. He's so cool. He's so scary.

I don't hate you for loving you. I just hate my heart for choosing someone like you.