I have spiritual beliefs that I could literally go out and make an entire comedy routine about, and tour as some sort of spiritual guru, but it kind of goes against that [as] I actually believe the things, so I'm always kind of caught in the middle.

I think I could go away tomorrow. I've already accomplished something. It's such a selfish business that sometimes I get sick of myself.

Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them.

Comedy started out as my hobby and then it became my profession. It's like being on call all the time, like having a built-in beeper. You can't just leave the office and relax because you never know when you'll think of something funny.

I want to be a positive force in the world, I would like to make people happy.

Ya know what I do almost every day? I wash. Personal hygiene is part of the package with me.

I really believe in the philosophy that you create your own universe. I'm just trying to create a good one for myself.