One of the greatest pleasures I get from my measly professional career is confusing people.

You truly need to witness me goo-gooing and coo-cooing and making up goofy little songs to glean a full appreciation of how nauseating I can be. This is another instance where things seemingly don't add up - how can this vile, hateful, violent, misogynist, racist, loathsome, repugnant, worthless, reprehensible subhuman be so insanely tender and kind to little doggies and kitty-cats?

I think my sense of humor is Jewish. I'm smarter than most white people, which is kind of a Jewish thing, too.

A primary flaw in my psychology is that I'll give people a hundred yards' worth of rope with which to hang themselves, but once they reach that hundred-yard line, I strangle them to death with it.

One of the greatest pleasures I get from my measly professional career is confusing people.

I think that any time a person comes face-to-face with their own mortality - close enough to Death that they can smell its breath - they have a choice: 1) Fall to pieces; 2) Reassemble yourself and keep walking.

As I view it, spending over two years in a cage is far worse than having your face pounded and dealing with a black eye for a week or two.