I don't believe that human ethnic groups are equal, and I believe that's fairly easy to prove.

Whenever I visit an industrialized nation that isn't the United States, it immediately becomes apparent how much more educated and informed and aware of international events their citizens are compared to Americans.

A primary flaw in my psychology is that I'll give people a hundred yards' worth of rope with which to hang themselves, but once they reach that hundred-yard line, I strangle them to death with it.

Anyone who's ever had the misfortune of seeing me interact with house pets knows I have a wickedly strong paternal instinct bordering on the maternal.

When I see two women kissing, my only physical reaction is a strong desire to vomit in both of their mouths.

the fact that they stole their whole shtick from Woody Guthrie and the coal-mining bards. While the alternative nation meows about personal fashion angst, the Appalachian nation still sings about unemployment.

When I write, I strain with every wizened fibre of my weathered frame to analyze every possible angle of any given subject.