In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.

When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.

There are reports that if Joe Biden runs for president, he would promise to serve for only one term - because nothing says confidence like promising your presidency would be over quickly.

The fans were so psyched that someone was doing a movie about a Boston fan that they were giving their all.

Three of Donald Trump's kids have come forward to defend him, and called him 'an incredible dad and role model.' Donald was so moved that he wrote one of them back into his will. 'I'm not gonna tell you which one . . . it's Donald Jr.'

Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.'

I read one chapter of a book and put it down. Thank God for Kindle.