The TSA's airport body scanners have been shown to be so ineffective, the Homeland Security chairman suggested using traditional metal detectors. While LaGuardia will continue to just have a scarecrow dressed as a cop.

You run on the treadmill. But you need to stop watching The Food Network when you're doing it. That is how you torture yourself.

According to a new survey, almost half of the voters in Ohio, Florida, and Pennsylvania say that they do not trust Hillary Clinton. Republicans immediately got together and said, 'OK, this is a huge opportunity for us. How are we going to screw it up?'

President Obama is getting a new limousine that will have advanced night-vision capabilities. The technology even has a cool name ... headlights.

Donald Trump got in some trouble for saying that John McCain is not a war hero, and said, 'I like people that weren't captured.' Not good. In fact, Trump's people are telling him to lay low for a while until this all combs over.

I got my shot at the movies. I love doing standup live. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I wanted to try movies, so I gave it a shot. I had two shots and I didn't really do it. That wasn't really happening for me. On the second movie I got to meet the girl that would be my wife. So I got to hang out with her and get engaged, and get the whole wedding thing. It was really great.

There are reports that President Obama and his family may move to New York City after his term is over. Unfortunately, the city is so expensive, he's looking for another ex-president to be roommates with.