Nissan is recalling almost 135,000 Infiniti G35s to address an airbag problem. When Toyota heard that, they said, 'Airbags! I knew we forgot something.'

Congrats to Prince William and Kate Middleton, who welcomed a baby girl on Saturday. The royal baby weighed eight pounds - or around 12 American dollars.

The acting director of the Secret Service, Joseph Clancy, said they may make the fence around the White House taller because of the recent security failures. When asked if he had any other ideas, he said, 'Uh, make the sidewalk lower?'

After Michael Jordan recently criticized President Obama's golf game, Obama responded by saying that Jordan should spend more time thinking about his basketball team, the Charlotte Hornets. Then Jordan said, 'Do you really want to talk about whose team got crushed this week?'

The Pentagon banned the army from using Chinese-made berets. In a more veiled slap at the Chinese, the Pentagon also banned any alternative form of checkers.

When NBC told me I got the job, I asked, 'Can we do it from New York?' There was just silence on the phone

It seems like everybody's weighing in on Trumps campaign - even Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban. He said that Trump is 'probably the best thing to happen to politics in a long, long time.' Then Trump was like, 'Well, at least one Cuban loves me.'