It would've been amazing [to work as programmer]. You're good at numbers, you're good with people, you like to wear shorts in the summertime.
Jimmy FallonThe Pentagon banned the army from using Chinese-made berets. In a more veiled slap at the Chinese, the Pentagon also banned any alternative form of checkers.
Jimmy FallonThank you... 'Real Housewives of Atlanta,' for demonstrating a universal truth: Idiots like me will always watch idiots like you fight on TV. You will forever be in my TiVo.
Jimmy FallonToday Russia announced that it will join America's fight with the terror group ISIS. Then Putin said, "But I did not say which side.
Jimmy Fallon