I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.

The U.S. government is selling $30 billion worth of fighter jets to Saudi Arabia. Yeah, it's part of a new initiative called, 'Operation Regret This In Five Years.'

It was the 60th anniversary of 'Face the Nation.' During his interview, President Obama said, 'Our country doesn't fear the future. We grab it.' Nothing says you grab the future like going on a 60-year-old show hosted by a 77-year-old-man to speak to a 90-year-old audience.

Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking.

I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I threw a coin into a fountain, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I saw a shooting star, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.'

Three of Donald Trump's kids have come forward to defend him, and called him 'an incredible dad and role model.' Donald was so moved that he wrote one of them back into his will. 'I'm not gonna tell you which one . . . it's Donald Jr.'

John Walker Lindh, a twenty-year-old American studying in Pakistan, was captured in Northern Afghanistan fighting for the Taliban. Experts call it the worst semester abroad program ever.