Yesterday on CNN, Joe Biden said he hasn't made up his mind about whether he'll run for president in 2016. Which raises the question: 'Who was raising that question?'

Ben Carson actually lost a tooth. Which explains why he said that under his leadership, Americans would be entitled to 'life, liberty, and the purthuit of happineth.'

President Obama is getting a new limousine that will have advanced night-vision capabilities. The technology even has a cool name ... headlights.

You only think of the best comeback when you leave.

There's always going to be someone out there... who doesn't believe in you or who thinks your head is too big or you're not smart enough. But those are the people you need to ignore, and those are the times you need to just keep doing what you love doing.

I feel like I'm being too Zen. I'm inhaling too much patchouli and incense. It's embarrassing.

I got every Dan Shaughnessy book known to man.