I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.

When I was a kid, you would tune in to "The Tonight Show" before you went to sleep. Johnny Carson. A big treat. I know it's a privilege of mine to be able to be in people's homes. So I hope I make everyone proud, including my parents, and do a good job in this.

A new study found that Americans are exercising more than ever but still not losing much weight. Not good in fact, it's all I could think about on my jog to Dunkin' Donuts.

I don't even read the papers. I read 'USA Today' because it has color photos.

The acting director of the Secret Service, Joseph Clancy, said they may make the fence around the White House taller because of the recent security failures. When asked if he had any other ideas, he said, 'Uh, make the sidewalk lower?'

The U.S. government is selling $30 billion worth of fighter jets to Saudi Arabia. Yeah, it's part of a new initiative called, 'Operation Regret This In Five Years.'

Scott Walker's campaign slogan is 'Reform. Growth. Safety.' Which is actually similar to Donald Trump's new slogan: 'Mexico. Money. Crazy.'