Today is 11/11/11, a date so simple even Rick Perry can remember it.

New Defense Secretary Ashton Carter said that he is open to letting transgender people serve in the military. He said there's no reason to prevent people from being generals just because of their privates.

This morning my dad called me up and said, 'So, tonight's your last show, huh.' And I said, 'No, Dad, that's someone else.'

There are reports that if Joe Biden runs for president, he would promise to serve for only one term - because nothing says confidence like promising your presidency would be over quickly.

That's right, Mitt Romney took on Evander Holyfield in a boxing match for charity, and it was a pretty one-sided fight. But it was still not the worst boxing match we've seen this month. This weekend Vladimir Putin played in an exhibition hockey game with some former NHL players and scored eight goals. Even Evander Holyfield and Mitt Romney said, 'That looks fake.'

Everyone looks so much better when they smile.

Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama's birth certificate to make sure that it's real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump's hair.