During an interview, former President George W. Bush discussed his painting hobby and said, 'Never paint your wife or your mother.' Then he added, 'Because it's almost impossible to get the paint out of their hair.'

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo just signed a bill that bans powdered alcohol from the state. So if you live in New York and you're consuming powdered alcohol, your life just somehow got even worse.

The favorite to win the Olympic gold medal in archery is a legally blind athlete from South Korea, mainly because everyone else is too scared to compete next to him.

Republican candidate George Pataki said his dogs would give him the best endorsement for becoming our next president. Until they hear Chris Christie always carries bacon in his pockets. (Joke's on them, though, he's never going to give them any of that pocket bacon. It's what gets him through long meetings!)

A house panel in Texas has approved full marijuana legalization for the state. Yeah, meaning Texas could go from having dude ranches to 'Dude, ranches.'

Hillary Clinton said that Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi is engaged in 'theater.' Which explains the new strategy to defeat him: casting him as the lead in 'Spider-Man: the Musical.'

Nissan is recalling almost 135,000 Infiniti G35s to address an airbag problem. When Toyota heard that, they said, 'Airbags! I knew we forgot something.'