You only think of the best comeback when you leave.

It's all about the script. Reality is key to me and less cutesy.

Joe Biden went to Brazil in an effort to try and repair America's relationship with their government. Biden said, 'It's great to be here in the Amazon. I've always wanted to see where all the books come from.'

Jeb Bush's brother Neil said that their mother has 'come around' to the idea of Jeb running for president in 2016. Because if there's anything that says you're qualified to be president, it's your own mom saying, 'I guess you could do it.'

Success is.... happiness. Is that too Deepak Chopra?

You run on the treadmill. But you need to stop watching The Food Network when you're doing it. That is how you torture yourself.

Got Bin Laden AND interrupted Celebrity Apprentice? Win for Obama all around.