Thank you... preseason football, for having all the excitement, commercials, and time-outs of the regular season, but with none of the mattering. I appreciate it. Thank you.

As gas prices continue to drop, 28 states are now selling regular gasoline for less than $2 a gallon. It's getting cheaper to pump two gallons of gas outside the station than it is to pump two squirts of nacho cheese inside.

Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama's birth certificate to make sure that it's real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump's hair.

I love Nashville. I've been here so many times... oh man, I would stay here for a year if I could. It's just so much fun.

Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: We think we're important enough to charge money for our garbage.

A new poll also shows that a majority of people in Colorado think Hillary Clinton is not trustworthy. Although, that's not saying much coming from the most paranoid state in America. 'Hillary Clinton? She's a cop?'

You only think of the best comeback when you leave.