Thank you... preseason football, for having all the excitement, commercials, and time-outs of the regular season, but with none of the mattering. I appreciate it. Thank you.

Time magazine interviewed Bill Clinton about the current presidential campaign, and he claimed he had to ask Hillary to marry him three times before she said yes. Then Hillary was like, 'Yeah. That wasn't me.'

North Korea has declared its own time zone that they are calling 'Pyongyang Time,' and set their clocks back half an hour. So if it's say, 11:40 here now in New York, in North Korea it's still 1925.

President Obama is getting a new limousine that will have advanced night-vision capabilities. The technology even has a cool name ... headlights.

People ask me, Jimmy, howd you get here tonight. Lets just say it involved a two-hour make-out session with Elaine Stritch. It got pretty heavy actually, I almost had to host.

I love Nashville. I've been here so many times... oh man, I would stay here for a year if I could. It's just so much fun.

I can't believe there are so many people who aren't us.