A top aide to Donald Trump says he quit the campaign this weekend because of Trump's public feuds, but Trump said he was fired. When asked what he was fired for, Trump said, 'Quitting!'

I saw that on Small Business Saturday, the president went shopping at a bookstore and bought 17 books, including "The Laughing Monsters," "Being Mortal," and "Heart of Darkness." Or as the cashier put it, "You OK, man? Maybe a little 'Chicken Soup for the Presidential Soul?'

During a charity boxing match on Friday, Mitt Romney lasted two rounds against Evander Holyfield and raised a million dollars. It was just like Holyfield's fight with Mike Tyson, except Romney chewed off his other ear talking about his 18 grandchildren.

I had a gun and I had to run and shoot, which is not easy.

In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.

Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.

I love Nashville. I've been here so many times... oh man, I would stay here for a year if I could. It's just so much fun.