You run on the treadmill. But you need to stop watching The Food Network when you're doing it. That is how you torture yourself.

John McCain responded to critics who say he's too old for a sixth term by saying that his mother is 103 years old and doing well. The crazy thing is that even she is somehow younger than John McCain.

Apparently, the Obamas chose New York City because they've gotten so used to people trying to break into their house.

Today, President Obama finally met with BP's CEO, Tony Hayward, but the meeting was only scheduled 20 minutes. Call me crazy, but I think it should take more time to discuss an oil spill than it does to get your oil checked.

President Obama awarded a National Medal of Arts to author Stephen King. You know, because if there's anyone who can relate to the story of a guy trapped in a mansion that's driving him insane, it's Obama.

Today is Earth Day. Environmentalists spent the day drawing attention to the Earth, while the Earth just spent the day checking Facebook to see which planets wished it a happy Earth Day.

Scott Walker's campaign slogan is 'Reform. Growth. Safety.' Which is actually similar to Donald Trump's new slogan: 'Mexico. Money. Crazy.'