The bar exam's a mother. I mean, for me it was. I failed it the first two times, but I guess it's like losing your virginity, third time's the charm.

Only two things I know about Albuquerque - Bugs Bunny should've taken a left turn there. And give me a hundred tries, I'll never be able spell it.

Dalai Lama's got nothing on me.

The only way that entire car is worth 500 bucks is if there's a 300 dollar hooker sitting in it.

Wave bye-bye to your cash cow, 'cause it's leaving the pasture.