I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't.

We women continue to swallow this line that it's unladylike or even proof of being a lesbian if you wear flat shoes like Doc Martens. I'm prepared to put up with that accusation, because at least my feet aren't killing me and I don't look like a bandy ostrich.

I look like Julian Clary on steroids.

I'm not really a churchy person, although I do think Jesus was a good bloke.

I never think, 'Where am I going to be in a year's time?' That seems to be a sure way of missing the fact that you might be quite happy now.

I've seen a lot of women give up after they've had three or four bad gigs in a row. It's very difficult to learn not to take nasty heckles personally.

I'm not a flag waver for obesity. It's not healthy, and you have a crap life because there is such a downer on it.