I never ever take into consideration the consequences of my actions until it's too late.

I like to read my diary occasionally to remind myself what a miserable, alienated old sod I used to be.

I'm a real Kentish maid, you know.

I buy smoked mackerel in a vain attempt at being healthy. I do actually really like it, and you don't have to cook it, which is handy.

I swam at school a lot. Long-distance swimming in pools, and diving, then when we moved to Hastings when I was 13 I used to swim in the sea all the time; I loved it out of season and when it was rough.

You know it's time for a New Year's resolution to lose weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, "One at a time, please.

I wasn't one of those hideous children who make their parents sit through hour-long performances when you're seven. I didn't do anything like that thankfully.