The funny thing is, I don't actually think of myself as fat at all. I don't think I am. Not really.

I love doing stand-up. It's so self-contained - you go there, you do it, you go home - but with telly, there are too many people involved with it with opinions. You have a product, and everyone wants to change it.

Inside every fat person there's a thin person looking to get out - They've just eaten them.

With proper acting, I don't know what I would play - I got sent a script for a play, and it said in the notes that my proposed character was 'hideously fat and ugly'. That made my day. I mean, I do know I am no oil painting.

To me, a politician's job is to listen to constituents' problems and try to sort them out.

I took my husband to the hospital yesterday to have 17 stitches out - that'll teach him to buy me a sewing kit for my birthday.

I'm too nervous to eat before I go onstage, and I'll usually eat out after the performance or when I get home at midnight.