My doctor told me I should get out of breath three times a week, so I took up smoking.

I've always been criticised for how filthy my material is. Victoria Wood said to me once, 'I wish I was a bit ruder, like you,' and I said, 'Well, I wish I was a bit cleaner, like you.'

I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.

If I am totally honest, I would have to say that ''Allo 'Allo!' was not my cup of tea, even though lots of people loved it. For that reason, I find comedy fascinating. There is a huge difference between what people find funny.

I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.

Being Christian towards poor people means trying to improve their lives and give them back some self-respect.

I look like Julian Clary on steroids.