With two small children, I haven't had a wash since 2001 so the chance to go shopping is way down the list. It is something I do intend to get.

I've always liked to think I could do anything I wished as well as - if not better than - a man. But I wasn't very good at rally driving.

I often tell audiences at the start of my shows that I'm not gay because I've got petitions from lesbian groups saying 'Can you tell people you're heterosexual because you're giving us a bad name.'

Christians have always been fodder for comedians who have tended to portray them as anoraks - slightly clammy, beatifically smiley dullards with barely a personality between them.

I'd love to live in Kent but it's all a question of work.

I have a utilitarian approach to dressing; as long as I quite like it and it covers me up, I don't care what it is.

I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't.