For a long time, people assumed I was gay, so when I got married the press were all a bit shocked and made a big deal of it - and ditto when I had children. I felt very much under the microscope with paps outside the house taking pictures of me getting the baby out of the car, it was excruciating. I remember getting her out of the car seat and thinking 'oh God I'm going to drop her and they're going to take a picture'. I was so nervous. Those sorts of things are really hard.
Jo BrandWhen you cry, you don't look very attractive; you look snotty and blotchy. People seem to manage to cry quite prettily these days, and to me, that smacks of not being very genuine.
Jo BrandI swam at school a lot. Long-distance swimming in pools, and diving, then when we moved to Hastings when I was 13 I used to swim in the sea all the time; I loved it out of season and when it was rough.
Jo BrandA lot of people do that kind of nostalgia stuff believing that they were very happy in their teenage years, but that's probably just an illusion.
Jo BrandAn overweight guy went to the doctor who advised him to try a keep fit DVD. But the guy said he couldn't be bothered. โWellโ suggested the doctor, โtry something that leaves you a little short of breath.โ So the buy took up smoking.
Jo Brand