You can only start a boy band if you kill one of the other ones already out there.

I believe everyone on this planet deserves equal rights to their own pursuit of happiness.

Elijah Wood from Lord Of The Rings can't get married with a girl named Holly beacause it would make Holly Wood get it HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was just in the middle of singing a song about how broke we were and now my cell phone rings.

Benji usually tries to match his hair with his underwear, and you know how he had the pink hair for a while well we caught him in a pink thong one day!

I don't want to see anyone leaving single tonight. I want everyone to leave impregnated.

If I could pick my wife by name, It'd be Whitney. That name just sounds right