In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!

I love the challenge of an entire year has gone by and how has that affected the character you're playing.

I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.

There is some stuff on television that is shocking that it's on there, and shocking that it's not being censored. We run to that with torches and pitchforks and go after it. On Flavor Of Love, when a woman took a dump on the stairs, I mean, that's like J.R. being shot on Dallas, or like maybe the last episode of M*A*S*H. It's a milestone on television that's covered with chlamydia.

I would like eternal life. I would like to have the power to choose who lives and dies.

Well, that would be a title [the busiest guy in Hollywood] still reserved for Ryan Seacrest. I have one assistant; he has about nine. I don't have a food taster yet, I don't have a fluffer either. But, yes there are some days when I don't know if I am coming or going.

I used humor as survival, as a weapon and as comfort.