I think I realized that Dave Barry was funnier than I'll ever be, and he made no attempt to make any actual points. He had a general libertarian point of view, but in general, he just liked to make jokes.

I don't read "letters" sections of magazines, but I'll read anyone's blog post about me.

I have a really high bar for being angry. Like, it doesn't even happen every year.

I wish I'd legitimately talked about some painful moments in my life where I felt insufficient as a kid.

You can get away with stuff in a one-page story that you can't get away with in a book.

When I lose my column again, I'm sure I'll get hungry again. Maybe it's having a kid, but it's probably just getting to do what I always wanted to do - I'm really not that hungry.

It's hard to discipline yourself not to explain yourself or apologize.