Some comedians love their characters. I don't fall in love with mine. In fact, I get tired of them very fast. You have to be willing to throw it all away.
I hate Illinois Nazis.
I give so much pleasure to so many people. Why can I not get some pleasure for myself?
On stage is the only place where I really know what I'm doing.
Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Christ. Seven years of college down the drain.