Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

On stage is the only place where I really know what I'm doing.

Grab a brew... don't cost nothin'.

In your 20s, you feel like you're indestructible...In your 30s, you think...I'll be around here a little longer, so I'm going to take better care of myself.

I guess happiness is not a state you want to be in all the time.

Some comedians love their characters. I don't fall in love with mine. In fact, I get tired of them very fast. You have to be willing to throw it all away.

We don't need no stinking badges!