It is so hard to leave—until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.

As I recall, you promised to CALL when you finished the book, not text.

These are all direct quotes, except every time they use a curse word, I'm going to use the name of a famous American poet: 'You Walt Whitman-ing, Edna St. Vincent Millay! Go Emily Dickinson your mom!' 'Thanks for the advice, you pathetic piece of E.E. Cummings, but I think I'm gonna pass.' 'You Robert Frost-ing Nikki Giovanni! Get a life, nerd. You're a virgin.' 'Hey bro, you need to go outside and get some fresh air into you. Or a girlfriend.' I need to get a girlfriend into me? I think that shows a fundamental lack of comprehension about how babies are made.

You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality!

Why don’t we break up? I guess I stay with her because she stays with me. And that’s not an easy thing to do.

When surprised and excited and innocent Gus emerged from Grand Gesture Metaphorically Inclined Augustus, I literally could not resist.

You know, like when you look in the mirror and the thing you see is not the thing as it really is.