The part I enjoy most is not the doing, but the noticing.

... I didn't know whether to feel angry at her for making me part of her suicide or just to feel angry at myself for letting her go.

Chuck Parson did not participate in organized sports, because to do so would distract from his larger goal of his life: to one day be convicted of murder

The Side Effects of Dying in Your Pants isn't really funny… Alright, it's a little funny.

Writing does not resurrect. It buries.

We were kissing. I thought: This is good. I thought: I am not bad at this kissing. Not bad at all. I thought: I am clearly the greatest kisser in the history of the universe. Suddenly she laughed and pulled away from me. She wiggled a hand out of her sleeping bag and wiped her face. "You slobbered on my nose," she said, and laughed

I wouldn't have cared if my girlfriend was a Jaguar-driving Cyclops with a beard - I'd have been grateful just to have someone to make out with.