I think people who are religious are more likely to want one around, but it's a very secular position.

"Please stop," I said. "You're upsetting the black Santas."

My regret was immediate and permanent and useless.

You are going to live a good and long life filled with great and terrible moments that you cannot even imagine yet.

I think one of the most important differences between us is that you are excellent at living in a way that is commensurate with your values, whereas I am not. For instance, I didn’t recycle until I watched An Inconvenient Truth and I’m still sort of iffy on it. And also, I didn’t vote in 2000, even though I could have voted in Florida *hits self on head repeatedly* Ahh George Bush! It’s all my fault! God! So stupid! *sigh* Let’s change the subject. Also, we have vastly different happy dances.

I was a bit of a Victorian Lady, fainting-wise.

I opened the door. He looked down at my shirt and smiled. "Funny," he said. "Don't call my boobs funny," I answered.