This was the first time in my life that so many things would never happen again.

I needed, I decided, to really know her, because I needed more to remember. Before I could begin the shameful process of forgetting the how and the why of her living and dying, I needed to learn it: How. Why. When. Where. What.

I'll just go over to the Duke's," I said. "Her parents already told me I could stay there. I'll go over there and open all my presents, and talk about how my parents neglect me, and then maybe the Duke will give me some of her presents because she feels so bad about how my mom doesn't love me.

Nerd life is just so much better than regular life.

You can trust that caring, as a rule, ends poorly,” which is true. Caring doesn’t sometimes lead to misery. It always does.

... I didn't know whether to feel angry at her for making me part of her suicide or just to feel angry at myself for letting her go.

My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.