Read a lot. Read broadly... Tell stories to your friends, and pay attention to when they get bored... Write a lot.

In general, watching children's television is a dark and surreal descent into madness where the characters on the screen talk directly to you.

I'm at the eye doctor. I'm always at the eye doctor. It's like this is my profession. I am no longer a writer, I'm now an optomoligical patient. By the way, this job doesn't pay well.

There's your labyrinth of suffering. We are all going. Find your way out of that maze.

I will play out the string. I will not betray your trust. I will find you.

I don't want to hear another negative word about cheerleaders. If it weren't for cheerleaders, who would tell us when and how to be happy during athletic events? If it weren't for cheerleaders, how would America's prettiest girls get the exercise that's so vital to a healthy life?

And so much depends, I told Augustus, upon a blue sky cut open by the branches of the trees above. So much depends upon the transparent G-tube erupting from the gut of the blue-lipped boy. So much depends upon the observer of the universe.